i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
