sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to have your abortion
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
