Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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