We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
