ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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