Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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