Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
