the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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