the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
