Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize