Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize