Betty ford says i'm here all night
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
All the doctor said was why
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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