from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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