it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
