I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
