so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
