FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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