Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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