i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.