Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
