Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
