he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
