i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
