I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
