I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The struggles of a small town man whore
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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