Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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