giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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