I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
