I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
