I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
