I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just had sex bonerless
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize