Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize