remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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