i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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