he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
