You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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