she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You took a bar mat shot.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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