remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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