I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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