one word: firstdatebathroomanal
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
