Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
