Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
