grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
