yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize