I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
