Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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