i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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