i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want her autograph on my taint
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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