I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
