get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Farmville is her only friend.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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