So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
