Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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