Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
