White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
