Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
